When is a Child Too Old for a Pacifier

This week the Moms Council tackles pacifiers. Recently, celebrity child Suri Cruise was photographed by paparazzi sporting a controversial accessory. Nothing special there, when your parents are mega stars Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. But the “accessory” that caused all the buzz wasn’t lipstick or heels (which she’s been seen wearing) but a binky. Little Suri will be five in April—is she too old to use a pacifier?

Pacifiers are a tricky subject. First, parents have to decide if their infants should even have one or just be allowed to suck their thumb. Then you have to decide when—and how--to kick the binky habit.

Laura: While I was pregnant with our first child, I was sure I would never use a pacifier with our kids. HA! I gave up on that idea before we even left the hospital! Now I can't imagine how we would have made it through without them. 

Our son was just shy of three when he stopped using one and our daughter was a little over two. Both of them had a visit from the “Nuk Fairy.” For a couple of weeks prior to the visit, we repeatedly explained that the Nuk Fairy would eventually decide it was time to give their pacifiers to another little one who needed them. Then one morning they'd wake up and all the pacifiers were gone and there was a note from the Nuk Fairy telling them how proud she was that they were such a big boy or girl and explaining how their pacifiers had gone to another child. It worked like a charm with both of them, literally not a single problem after the fact. 

Wendy: Alec didn't use one and I can't remember what happened with Blake—that was so long ago!

Michelle: Jordan did not use a pacifier but he did suck his thumb. He did stop sucking his thumb between two and half and three years old. It wasn't hard to stop, because once he decided to stop he did without us having to use tricks or bribes! Age 5 is crazy for any kid to use a pacifier!

Tracy: Of my six kids, four used a pacifier and two sucked their fingers.  By definition a "pacifier" is an object used to soothe.  That is exactly what we used it to do.  When our children were upset or we needed them to settle down to get some sleep, we would give them a pacifier to help. 

I am not ashamed to admit that sometimes I was just as grateful for the pacifier as them. I believe as children mature they learn to cope with stress and there is less and less need for a pacifier. 

When they got a little older, we never let our children walk around with their pacifiers.  They would keep them in their bedroom and would be allowed to have them if they were in bed.  Our children learned to view pacifiers as an aid to helping them get to sleep and they did not expect to have their pacifiers outside that context.  Eventually they no longer needed the help in getting to sleep. 

All of my kids gave up the pacifier (or sucking their fingers) on their own.  The age which that happened was different for each child--one was as old as 4.  I think parents sometimes stress too much about a child needing to give up a pacifier.  I think children will eventually out grow them.  And I think it happens quicker when parents aren't putting a lot of pressure on the child.  After all, how many adults have you seen walking around with a pacifier in their mouth?   

Denise: Neither of my boys used a pacifier—I thought they were kinds gross and ugly. It’s hard enough to keep a baby happy without have to worry about them dropping and losing their binky! Both my boys went through a thumb sucking phase, but lucky for me they only needed to do it when they were sleepy. Both outgrew the habit before they were three years old. Mitch will be four next month and he hasn’t sucked his thumb in a long, long time.

However, my mom didn’t have the same opinion on pacifiers, so I was allowed to have one as a baby. She said that when I was about 18 months old she was shopping with me in a stroller at the mall. I threw the pacifier overboard. Mom declared that she was sick and tired of picking the dang things up, left it in the middle of a department store and walked away. I didn’t use one after that day!