It's one thing to make a list of the bloodiest, goriest and most gruesome Halloween items available at the local Halloween store, but we looked for the items that were just plain weird and creepy.
We checked the Spirit Halloween store, which has hundreds of square feet of Halloween spookiness, and found a variety of weird and creepy things. Spirit Halloween has hundreds of locations across the country, usually occupying otherwise vacant storefronts in local shopping centers.
Locally, there are stores at Arnold Crossroads in Arnold and Gravois Bluffs in Fenton. There are other locations in Dardenne Prairie, Bridgeton, Ellisville, Hazelwood, O'Fallon, MO, Concord, South County and St. Peters. Find your local Spirit store online.
And now, on with the creepiness:
In case you don't get enough of this during the baseball playoffs: For $99.99, you can have your own three-dimensional motion-activated Wolf Spitter that really spits. It's a lot bloodier than the other items on the creepy list. The trick or treaters that come to your door may not be as interested in that handful of KIT KATs after your animated Wolf Spitter greets them.
Winning! Not!: If for any reason you decide to dress up as one of the two-and-a half-men (and why would you really?), there's the Charlie Sheen wig for $16.99. The package includes a simulated autograph and brags that the wig is "similar to human hair." It's just creepy.
Looki!: If you need a date to pair up with Sheen, you might consider convincing her to wear the Snooki dress, straight from the Jersey Shore. It's a leopard print (of course), low cut (of course), and is $29.99. You'll have to provide your own goofy logic and "Joisy" accent.
Perfect for a Veggie Tale: The package only says "Green Afro Wig," but it's the perfect topper for a broccoli costume. Add a light green body suit and the wig and, voila!, you can be your own favorite, or least favorite, creepy vegetable.
The Undead Man Who Came To Dinner: Of course there are all manner of zombies at the Spirit Halloween store that are decorated with varying degrees of gore, but there's one little undead guy that's almost pocket-sized -- Tabletop Zombie, who looks more like a tabletop maitre d'. The creepy factor is increased by the Dilbert tie he wears and the mild shimmying he breaks into when you press the "try me" button.
Not So Creepy, Just Weird: Looking for a simple costume for Halloween? Of the hundreds of selections available at Spirit Halloween, there's one plain label option you may consider: Red and Orange Mask. There is no blood, no scars, no lighting effects and no fake fog - it's just a red and orange mask.
Halloween's Perfect Warrior?: This mask isn't a depiction of Cardinals' great Stan Musial, but it IS called Stan The Man. And it's plenty creepy. The latex "Stan" mask creeps in at $34.99.
Debating on a Costume?: Politically Speaking, Halloween party-goers have their choice between latex masks depicting President Barack Obama and his Republican challenger Mitt Romney. Both versions sport over-exaggerated eyebrows, and, for some reason, are only recommended for those older than 14.
Creepy in a Frat House Kind of Way: The Skull Funnel is the Halloween version of the popular beer funnel that makes appearances at all the best drinking parties. The funnel is replaced by a fake skull and the tubing through which to suck down "your favorite beverage" actually are rubber representations of a human spine. Mmmmm. Drop a few floating fake eyeballs in the Skull Funnel and let the creepiness begin!